New Year Resolutions

Welcome to the last day of 2009. Not only that, welcome to the last day of the decade. I’m sure you’ve all been reading lists regarding the best television shows and best characters from the past 10 years, so I’m not going to focus on that. Instead, let’s talk resolutions. I gave up a long time ago on that gym membership, so instead I’m making more realistic goals for myself, all centered around – you guessed it – television.

Be brave; try more new shows
This one will be hard for me. Reason being that shows I actually enjoy inevitably get canceled before all episodes can be aired. Case in point: Eastwick. I enjoyed this show as a Charmed meets Desperate Housewives set up, and not only did ABC cancel it, they also skipped an episode before the last one they ever aired. Things like this and knowing how quickly shows get canned kept me from enjoying Modern Family and Cougartown when they premiered and I had to play catch-up. I understand money issues and advertising when it comes to airing shows, but there needs to be some way to keep those who actually enjoy television from becoming disgruntled. Maybe start with not skipping remaining episodes and airing them all before pulling the plug? I don’t know, just a suggestion.

Re-watch old favorites
With LOST ending this year, and Battlestar Galactica having ended earlier, I think it’s time to pony up and re-watch both shows from beginning to end. Of course, LOST will be a summer project (and hopefully by then the sixth and final season will be available on DVD). Another show worth re-watching will definitely be Arrested Development (something else cut down in its prime). I’m going to get lofty and say I’d like to re-watch all of The X-Files which means that I’d have to sit through seasons eight and nine, but maybe the sting of that wound has healed enough over the years. And to really overshoot my goal, I’d love to re-watch all of Will & Grace, because damn if I don’t miss the Jack and Karen show.

Don’t let the DVR pile up
I made the mistake of doing that this year more than once, and it took me weeks to get caught up. Television watching actually became stressful so clearly, I need to space out what I’m watching. If only Wednesdays and Thursdays (and coming soon in 2010, Tuesdays??) weren’t so jam packed! Instead of blowing off catching up when I have free time, it’s time to commit, commit, commit.

Finally, be more vocal about great (and even good) T.V.
You’d think that having a blog would pretty well have me on the right path, but the truth is (as anyone who reads this on a regular basis knows) that life gets in the way quite a bit. There are times I’d love to come here immediately and rant and rave with everyone, but my job beckons, and the one that pays me money actually sucks my soul. Sadly, as much as I wish this weren’t true, I don’t always have time for the blog. In a fantastic world, this is what I would do for a living, but since I neither know anyone who can get me into the world of professional (?) blogging or know anyone at Entertainment Weekly (seriously, someone from there feel free to call me) I come here when I can. I just hope that lengthy absences are rewarded with people wanting more updates, not wishing I would go away.

So, those are my T.V. driven goals – what are yours? Let me know in the comments, and let’s make this a great New Year (and decade!) for television.

Talking To Anyone Out There

It’s definitely been a while since I’ve posted here (not since the Emmys), and it comes down to two things: I overwhelmed myself with the amount of television I was watching, and the job I actually get paid to do went through a massive upheaval of changes. The first thing is completely my fault, but there were so many shiny and new things! Modern Family, Cougar Town, and Glee! The second thing – not so much within my control but it doesn’t matter anymore because it has finally calmed down. Somewhat.

Post Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for the great shows both renewed and new that have been able to keep me entertained: The three already mentioned, plus Mad Men, Community, Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, LOST (final season coming soon!) and others. I’m still hoping that some shows will be let go. Shows like Heroes that have fallen to contrived plots and barely there twists in the story lines. And I’m mourning the loss of some early cancellations, most notably my guilty pleasure show Eastwick. What wasn’t to love about that show? It was Charmed meets Desperate Housewives, and it was delicious.

I wanted to compile a list of my top favorite quotes from the past year of television, and then I realized we have the end of a decade upon us. So, I’ve decided to go even further back. Here are some of my favorite quotes from 2000-2009, may most of these shows rest in peace. (And yes, shows that ended within the decade still count! But I am limiting myself to only the seasons that were within this decade. See? Tricky, silly blogger.)

Will and Grace

Karen: I'll never forget it. My fellow office workers and I were heading down to lunch, and, suddenly... The lights went out, the elevator dropped, and...Dennis Hopper said he would kill us all if his demands weren't met. I thank God Keanu Reeves was there to get us out!

Jack: Karen, that wasn't you, that was the opening scene of Speed!

Karen: Oh. You know, that movie was not at all what was advertised. You think you're going to see a feel-good movie about amphetamines, and, suddenly, you're on a bus?

Karen Walker: Grace! It's Christmas, for goodness sake! Think about the baby Jesus. Up in that tower, letting his hair down so that the three wise men can climb up and spin the dreidel and see if there's six more weeks of winter.

Battlestar Galactica

Bill Adama: As of this moment we are at war.

Laura Roslin: We need to get the hell out of here and we need to start having babies!

Baltar: Its all so pointless. We kill them, and they kill us, so we kill more of them, so they kill more of us. What's the point anymore?

Number Six: You, your race, invented murder. Invented killing for sport, greed, envy. Its man's one true art form.

Laura Roslin [after finding ‘Earth’]: So…much…life.

LOST

Jack Shephard: God knows how long we're going to be here. But if we can't live together—we're gonna die alone.

Hurley: Okay. See, we did crash, but it was on this crazy island. And we waited for rescue, and there wasn't any rescue. And there was a smoke monster, and then there were other people on the island. We called them the Others, and they started attacking us. And we found some hatches, and there was a button you had to push every 108 minutes or... well, I was never really clear on that. But... the Others didn't have anything to do with the hatches. That was the DHARMA Initiative. The Others killed them, and now they're trying to kill us. And then we teamed up with the Others because some worse people were coming on a freighter. Desmond's girlfriend's father sent them to kill us. So we stole their helicopter and we flew it to their freighter, but it blew up. And we couldn't go back to the island because it disappeared, so then we crashed into the ocean, and we floated there for a while until a boat came and picked us up. And by then, there were six of us. That part was true. But the rest of the people... who were on the plane? They're still on that island.

Mad Men

Bobbie Barret: This is America, pick a job and become the person who does it.

Don Draper: Advertising is based on one thing, happiness. And you know what happiness is? Happiness is the smell of a new car. It's freedom from fear. It's a billboard on the side of the road that screams reassurance that whatever you are doing is okay. You are okay.

Friends

Joey: Finished my recommendation, and I think you'll be very, very happy. It's the longest I've ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.

Chandler: I don't... understand

Joey: Some of the words a little too sophisticated for you?

Monica: It doesn't make any sense.

Joey: Of course it does. It's smart. I used a thesaurus.

Chandler: On every word?

Joey: Yep!

Monica: What was this sentence originally?

Joey: Oh, "They're warm, nice people with big hearts."

Chandler: And that became, "They're humid, prepossessing Homo sapiens with full-sized aortic pumps."

Joey: And hey, I really mean it, dude.

Monica: Uh, Joey, we can't use this.

Joey: Why not?

Monica: Well, because you signed it "Baby Kangaroo" Tribbiani.

Phoebe: I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to your imaginary wedding, but I'm really busy that day. I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun Bar Mitzvah.

Desperate Housewives

Bree: As of this moment, Rex, I am no longer your wife. I am going to go out, and find the most vindictive lawyer I can find, and together, we are going to eviscerate you. I'm going to take away your money, your family, and your dignity. Do you hear me?

Rex: Bree...

Bree: And I am so thrilled to know that you still love me. Because I want what's about to happen to you...to hurt as much as humanly possible. I'm so glad you didn't die before I got a chance to tell you that.

Lynette: Listen to me. I forbid you to die. If you leave me with a mortgage and a restaurant and five kids, I swear I will track you into the deepest pit of hell and make you pay.

30 Rock

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?

Jack: It's after six. What am I, a farmer?

Tracy: Jenna, we're the most important people here, right?

Jenna: Well, of course Tracy. We're actors. If we didn't exist how would people know who to vote for?

The Wire
McNulty: This is just us talking right? Just you, me, my partner and... what did you say your name was?
Bodie: I didn't say shit.
McNulty: Just you, me, my partner and Mr. Shit here.

Slim Charles: Don't matter who did what to who at this point. Fact is, we went to war and there ain't no turnin' back. I mean, shit, it's what war is, you know? Once you in it, you in it. If it's a lie, then we fight on that lie. But we gotta fight.

The Office (US)
Michael: Abraham Lincoln once said that "If you are a racist, I will attack you with the North," and those are the principles I carry with me in the workplace.

Jim: I was just, um... I'm in love with you.
Pam: What?
Jim: I'm really sorry if that's weird for you to hear, but I needed you to hear it. Probably not good timing, I know that, I just—
Pam: What are you doing? What do you expect me to say to that?
Jim: I just needed you to know. Once.
Pam: Well, I, um—I can't...
Jim: Yeah.
Pam: You have no idea—
Jim: Don't do that.
Pam: —what your friendship means to me.
Jim: Come on. I don't want to do that. I want to be more than that.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Playing the game of Life]
Anya: Crap! Look at this. I'm burdened with a husband, and several tiny pink children, and more cash than I can reasonably manage…
Xander: That means you're winning.
Anya: Really?
Xander: Yes. Cash equals good.
Anya: Oh! [claps] I'm so pleased! Can I trade in the children for more cash?

Buffy: So here's the part where you make a choice. What if you could have that power, now? In every generation, one Slayer is born, because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago made up that rule. They were powerful men. [points to Willow] This woman... is more powerful than all of them combined. So I say we change the rule. I say my power... should be our power. Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of the Scythe to change our destiny. From now on, every girl in the world who might be a Slayer, will be a Slayer. Every girl who could have the power, will have the power, can stand up, will stand up. Slayers... every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?

Modern Family
Haley: Hey mom?
Claire: Yeah?
Haley: Can I have forty dollars for lunch?
Claire: Forty dollars?
Haley: I also need a book for school.
Claire: A book?
Haley: I want a dress.
Claire: Do you have any idea what a bad liar you are?
Alex: I'd be more worried that she couldn't come up with a single book title.

Phil: I'm cool dad, that's my thang. I'm hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face

Glee
Mercedes: Oh, HELL to the no! Look, I'm not down with this background singin' nonsense. I'm Beyoncé, I ain't no Kelly Rowland.

Sue: I empower my Cheerios to be champions. Do they go to college? I don't know. I don't care. Should they learn Spanish? Sure, if they wanna become dishwashers and gardeners.

This is just a mere sampling of what I think have been some of the most memorable quotes of the decade. I could go on forever; I could make this post so long it takes up the entire page. I love pop culture quotes, and I love 'em hard. So now, I want to know what you think. Share with me your favorite quotes from television shows in the past ten years. Spam the heck out of me with your quotes, because I love to read them. And I know you love to relieve them.

a lot of t.v. commentary

Breaking news: Samantha Who? has been canceled by ABC. The Sarah Conner Chronicles has been canceled by FOX. The Unusuals has been canceled by ABC.

I wasn't going to post all of my thoughts all at once because I was afraid this post would get long. Then I decided I'd just try to get this all short. All of my shows have ended for the summer, and I have some stray thoughts about LOST, so let's get moving.

As I stated in my previous entry, upfronts have started for all of the networks. Congratulations to the fans of Dollhouse and Chuck for seeing their shows renewed for at least one more season. Here's hoping that FOX moves Dollhouse out of its lackluster Friday night spot and gives it a healthy place to grow.

Scrubs was also renewed. How do I put this in a way that still reflects how much I have loved this show. Um...okay I have it. LET IT GO. I understand that people absolutely love this show but let's face it; it isn't what it used to be. And if it's coming back, then what purpose did that finale serve? I just want to remember Sacred Heart in its glory days, but it seems like it will be beaten with sticks before it finally goes away probably hardly recognizable anymore.

After watching The Office finale, I've decided that it probably won't make it after this next season. Babies? Babies ruin shows and are often shark jumping moments. Believe me; jumping the shark is not a term I use lightly, but depending on how this is all played out, the majority of the audience is going to jump ship. It pains me to say that seeing as how I've loved The Office since the beginning, but with the Jim and Pam story line unfolding like the American Dream all of a sudden, what's the point of continuing?

Desperate Housewives finally ended it's Dave story line and...that's what we waited for all season long? It was kind of...boring, and the whole story line was far-fetched to begin with. Have everyone from Dave to Susan to the newspapers omitted the fact that the stop sign was laying on the ground and that the accident was just that - an accident? I understand grief and all, but aside from Susan not actually having her driver's license on her, where was a real crime committed? I guess this is what I get for trying to think about it logically.

I think that as we go through the LOST hiatus it'll be fun to have a theory a week or so until the show comes back. Because Lord knows there are enough things to speculate. And if I try to write something long it will come out like this: OMG JULIET IS DEAD BECAUSE DARLTON SAID ONCE SOMEONE DIES ON THIS SHOW THEY'RE REALLY DEAD!!!!

I'm not even 100% sure where to start, but I'm just going to dive in.

What is Jacob, exactly?
We know that he's old; as old as the island? He also has a connection to most of our Losties. He visited a young Kate and Sawyer, Jack as he took out his frustrations on his father, Locke after plummeting out of the 8th floor window of a building, and Hurley after getting out of jail. But probably most important is that he physically touched every single one of them. Why? What is the significane of those moments?

Comments below, everyone!

LOST questions

(Okay, so it's an older image. It just happened to feature eye candy front and center, plus Miles and Daniel.)

Over at EW.com, Doc Jensen has his review up of 'Some Like it Hoth'. There is a good reason why I don't do and will probably never touch trying to recap this show: He does it beautifully. Somehow he manages to ask all the right questions and give me a spring board for coming up with my own theories. I've linked you above to one of his theories in particular, but for the lazy clickers out there, I'll give you the quote:

Hurley tried to bond with Miles over their respective abilities to speak with
the dead, but snooty Straume believed his power was more impressively nuanced.
''You're just jealous my power is cooler than yours,'' Hurley replied.
CONSPICUOUS DETAIL — BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Alright, so here's what I think. I think that the dead people Hurley sees (by my count that would be Charlie, Mr. Eko, Ana Lucia and Dave) are Smokey himself. For some reason the monster is shifting himself into those people, but for what? Why was he/it trying to help Hurley? Or was it? The reason I bring up Dave is because of the speculation I had way back in the day that Dave was Libby's dead husband. (You know, the one who had the boat which she gave to Desmond.)

If you can explain to me where I was going that, I'd be very grateful. All I know for sure is that the time Hurley was seeing Dave, Libby was in the nuthouse too, and then Libby and Dave were both on the island.

What are some of your more 'far out' ideas? Anyone have any speculation they want to share? Leave me comments, and I'll address your theories in my next post!

Lost speculation!

Battlestar Galactica - Counting down to the end

You will never know how much it hurts to write that subject line. If you think back to when the mini-series originally aired which was back in 2003, we've been inundated with this show for a good five years. We've had four seasons, with the final half starting in January, and I'm approaching it now with mixed feelings. On one hand, I am glad that this show knows when to bow out. I admire Ron Moore and David Eick for being able to look at such an amazing show and decide that the story is coming to an end. It will wrap up on their terms and not because of an actor's contract expiring and temper tantrums over pay or the networks yanking the show early. That should give all of us something to be happy about. But on the other hand, it feels like there's this heavy weight in the pit of my stomach. I'm excited for the show to come back - in fact I feel like I'm starting to go through withdrawals right now. In the same breath, once it comes back, there will be no more hiatuses. No more waiting for the premiere date, no more counting the days on my calender. It will really be over.

Before it sings its final swan song, there are just a few things I want to see happen. Nothing major; not really. Just things that as a fan I've been hoping to see or at the very least see acknowledged on the show. In no particular order, here they are:

Bill & Laura

We got the 'I love you' in the first installment of season 4, and even my father (who has an exterior as gruff as Adama's) seemed to melt just a little. It was sweet and whispered, it felt like the right moment, and it was a perfect scene for the two of them. When that basestar jumped into view and Adama couldn't take his eyes off of it, in my head he was thinking I'm going to get my woman. (Am I alone in this train of thought?) The scene was just as perfect as their brief kiss way back in season two after she promoted him to Admiral. Tender and soft and with just enough emotion to make you get a lump in your throat. All of that being said, I'm not saying I want to see Bill and Laura getting hot and heavy in a rack (secretly; yes), but I am dying to see at least another kiss. Something that gives all us A/R shippers a little more validity to their relationship. Edward James Olmos and Mary McDonnell are such phenomenal actors that they could pull off that scene with the classiness their characters deserve. So, before the end, I'd like more regarding their relationship.

Laura's cancer

Before you all skip over this one, let me make one thing clear. I am unbelievably attached to the character of Laura Roslin. I love the character, I love the actress, I love what she stands for and I feel sorry for the person who tells me they hate Madame President. That being said, my heart will not be able to take watching her die. I will end up having a nervous break down and probably call out sick from work. I don't care what they have to do to make it not so. A magical unicorn could be found on Earth and cure her for all I care. It could all be a dream or Earth could actually be the island on LOST. I. Don't. Care. I know that this would make the whole 'dying leader' thing a moot point but when it comes to continuity and her cancer it wouldn't even bother me. Adama has finally found a woman he loves who loves him back and she's going to get killed off - just like every other person he loves. I mean, except for Starbuck, but she's questionable. And I know that Lee's not dead but he flip flops so much between being pissed at his dad and crying over him that Adama needs the stability of Laura being a rock for him.

I totally forgot where I was going with this, but my point is, I don't want Laura Roslin to die, even though I know there are reasons for it and the writers would do it with dignity.

(At the risk of sounding like Seinfeld) What is up with Earth?

I'd like for there to be a way for the characters to find out why Earth is a wasteland. Is it future Earth, or are they stuck in between eras? Is that even Earth? I think it would be great if Laura pulled out her scrolls of Pythia and after a moment of silence said "Oh, guys...my bad. My bad, everyone back in the battlestar, we took a wrong turn at the Lion's Head Nebula."

Is it a boy or a girl?

I'm not talking about the final cylon because we know the writers won't end the show without telling us that. I'm talking about Six and Tigh's baby. I want to see her go through pregnancy and Tigh get all freaked out about fatherhood in his 60s. (Has to be early 60s, right?) I think the writers have a great set up on their hands full of potential tender moments from Tigh. Not that he's ever been a teddy bear, but it will be awkward and sweet to see the old alcoholic holding his own infant.

Aside from things like happy endings and Adama and Roslin riding off into the sunset (which I know will never happen) this is pretty much my check-list going into the end of the show. I know it's a shallow list, but a fangirl can dream, right?

Addendum: I also hope down to the last fiber of my soul that this show finally gets an Emmy after it's off the air. Please, please, PLEASE for the love of all that is good and just in this world, hand out Emmy's for outstanding actor, actress, writing and show. It's been over-looked for far too long, and is loved by too many people for it to be ignored.

American Idol and Lost - spoilers ahoy!

American Idol
The only thing that I really don't like about the process of picking the final 24 is that there are what, four that we've never even heard sing? We've just had glimpses of them. Those four would be Jason Castro, Luke Menard, Garrett Haley, and Jason Yeager. Will the fact that they got no screen time hurt them starting next week? Who knows; only Wednesday will tell. I want to trust Simon, Paula, and Randy, but who knows if those four can even really sing. And why are they all guys? I mean, why not have a few unknown women to even it out?

Anyway, with everyone that I've seen, the talent seems pretty decent. No one's had one of those performances where you just know who the top five are going to be. There are people who you know will be decent, but no one just shook me up with their singing. I'm willing to put my money though, on Amanda Overmyer and Asia'h Epperson. For guys I think I'd go with David Archuleta and the gorgeous hottie Aussie Michael Johns. So hot. That doesn't mean that I don't like other people. I like Kristy Lee Cook okay, but she sang Amazing Grace twice. It would have been nice to hear her branch out and not try to stay safe, and I'm actually surprised that Simon didn't say something about that. Unless I missed it. I also really like Carly Smithson. She's cute and cheeky, but I don't think she's finalist material. I do think she'll get far, just not all the way to the top.

I really, really like Ramiele Malubay and I think she'll probably be the one to shine about midway through. It could go either way with Kady Malloy, and I say that because I'm afraid she'll never sing like herself, which was something the judges had to keep asking her to do during her first audition. But then again, she could really find herself and break through as well.

Last year, with the Sanjaya mess and wishing week after week that he would just go home already, I've been trying to pick out who the possible 'Sanjaya' is of this competition. (Admit it, you're doing it too.)

At first I thought it was going to be the disaster that was Josiah. And I have to admit, I probably wouldn't have watched the season had he been let through. What was with him, anyway? Did his parents actually kick him out, or did he just leave to go live in his car? And if he did the latter, stop crying and go home, dude. You aren't British, and you aren't Madonna. Stop talking like that. I listen to a lot of British influences, but I don't talk like I'm trying to impress the Queen. ANYWAY, my prediction for Sanjaya is Danny. Danny Noriega. When I first saw him, I thought he was a teenage girl and he can sing okay, but Sanjaya didn't do badly at first either.

Notice there are some people that didn't even get a mention. Like the rocker chick who can only sing Janis Joplin - I don't think she can do anything else, let alone something soft.

What do you guys think? And do you have a top 12 list yet?


Lost
Alright. Now, LOST. During which I was mostly just that. Also, I forgot to DVR it so I can't go back and check myself fact wise, so feel free to point something out just in case I mess it up.


Anyone else totally think "Wow, it's like Mr. and Mrs. Smith if Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt didn't really love each other"? Poor Sayid; he just keeps falling for the blondes that are going to eventually end up dead. Although, what happened to the 'love of his life'? Did he just give up on her? I guess 100 days on an island makes you forget about all that other silly, trivial stuff from your days as a torturer. In the future, Sayid is working as an assassin for Ben. So, Ben got off the island? The final six can't include Ben, I refuse to believe that. So, my thinking now is that the Oceanic Six only include people who were actually on the plane when it crashed. Meaning other people (like Juliet and obviously Ben) do leave the island but aren't counted in the final tally because they're natives. Was Ben always a doctor though? Did I miss something? Since when did he become qualified enough to remove a bullet? I guess about the same time he became qualified enough to run an animal hospital?

I don't even really know what to say or where to go from here. I have a lot of questions that everyone else has already asked. Who is The Economist? It's the man that Sayid was supposed to kill, probably, but why? Is it Penny's father? Possibly?

And where is she, by the way? I had assumed she was close, but maybe not. Especially with the way it seems time moves different on the island versus off. Are we looking at some sort of time warp? An alternate universe? I'm so confused that I can't even get my thoughts down right, which is really bad for a television reviewer.

Okay, so, let's go to something different. How about Hurley tricking the other Losties? How heartbroken was I? Actually, I'd never really loved Hurley the way that everyone else did, and I was shocked - SHOCKED when he turned out to be working with Locke. Could this be why Hurley apologized to Jack in the flash forward?

So then, Sawyer takes Kate hostage and why didn't they just have sex right then and get it over with? I mean come on. And I like the idea of Kate and Sawyer but really, there are more important things. Like Sawyer's question of "Why do you want to get off this island so damn bad?" Why does she? Theoretically, shouldn't she be going to jail if she leaves the island? I did appreciate Sawyer putting his heart on the line, as much as he can do that, and now it looks like she's choosing him over Jack. Cue Jack's tears! Just kidding, he didn't cry at all, which actually shocked me.

We knew that Ben did a lot of traveling back and forth from the island to the real world, but how deep does that go? He had a drawer full of passports and foreign currency. Does he speak like, 10 different languages? What the hell does he do? I guess he could actually be running that Mittelos Biosciences place, but why wouldn't that be in one central location? Why would that require a drawer full of passports?

I need to do some research, specifically regarding the time and what those times could possibly mean. (I love research, it's sick.)

The last thing I want to mention is the bracelet Naomi was wearing and how it looked just like the one Elsa wore. And let's not forget the inscription.

There are a lot of other things I want to touch on, but unfortunately, my time here is cut short. Maybe if you guys have theories and questions, leave them here?

Who is R.C. by the way? Regina the freighter chick?

Until next time!