Hereos recap - Spoilers

We start in where we left off, only not exactly. HRG is still staring at the painting of himself, dead, while Claire macks on who we can only assume is West. As we stare at the opening shot, I can't help but think that the Bennet's are making some nice bank. I mean that house, nice cars, Claire's need for trendy Hollister clothing. Did HRG have a secret stash in the Caymans or something? Anyway, moving on. HRG wants to know about Claire and how she's adjusting, or if maybe she's met a boy. Claire comes downstairs and she starts getting the third degree from both of her parents. Which she needs, if that top is something we can all go by. Good lord, Hooters. Cover them bad boys up. I keep getting off on tangents. I mean, we're like 45 seconds in and look how long this already is. This is going to be a long night, I can already tell. You know that with all the pausing and typing this takes like, a hundred hours right? Okay, ANYWAY, HRG is clearly forbidding cheerleading from ever happening in her life again, even though he says he's not. He clearly wants to meet all the boys Claire plans on frenching. So she lies and says there is no boy. Smart.

Molly is having another one of her fucked up dreams. Matt runs in, and then Mohinder. They walk to the doorway and stage whisper, like she shouldn't be able to hear them from where they are. M&M are bickering like an old married couple. Mohinder starts singing some weird Indian song to Molly, and Matt watches, hating that he's not a better dad. Or something.

Nathan, with his full on beard, goes all 'To Catch a Predator' and talks to his kids outside of the gate to their school. He tells the boys to have their mother call Grandma Petrelli since she's in the hospital. The teacher comes up and bitches Nathan out; he promises to come home soon, and then he leaves, looking pretty dejected.

God. These damn Wonder Twins. Apparently the American that they escaped from jail with is from Jersey. Maya speaks English now. Hello, plot line device. They almost run over a man, who turns out to be Sylar, all cut up and gasping that he needs help. Oh good. Maybe he'll kill The Banditos. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Over in Louisiana, Micah's boy cousin is a DICK. He throws water on Micah's face and tells him to wake up, and talks in that pseudo gangster talk that my teenage brother is so fond of. Uhura tells him to watch his fucking mouth. "Nana, I need 65 dollars!" "That's funny, so do I." lol. Micah's girl cousin is decidedly a lot prettier, and nicer, and looks like a really young Janet Jackson. Like, really young. She wants to know if she looks like she's in charge. Micah says yes. She asks why she needs to look like someone who's in charge, and her brother responds, "Because someone died and left you that way?" lol. Actually, she's going for management at the place where she flips burgers. There are some mild references to Hurricane Katrina, while on the t.v. in the background, a woman slices a tomato into a rose. Which is brought up and shown in such a painful way, that you know it's going to be a plot device later. Boy cousin is pissed off that no one will pay 65 dollars for him to watch wrestling on pay per
view, and when no one is listening, Micah insists that he might have a way for them to watch the wrestling. You think?

In New York, Grandma Petrelli is confessing to killing George Takei from a hospital bed. She says the police have the fingerprints proving that she was on the Rooftop of Doom, and she killed him for sex and money. Matt tries to read her mind and is cock blocked. She psychically (or whatever) tells him to let it go, because if the police keep digging, they are going to find out about everything; all the super powers and such.

In high school, Claire is getting swayed by the cheerleaders to try out because she has guts or something. West comes up and they start walking and he gushes about how great it is that he can be himself around Claire. She tells him that she's not sure they should hang out. She likes him, but her parents are so over protective that it won't work. West wants to talk to HRG and prove he's a stand up guy, but Claire begs him not to make this all harder on her than it already is. West asks her out anyway and says that after that, she can call it all off if she wants. Claire proves that she's easy by agreeing.

Nathan gets to the hospital and is pissed off because his mother's getting questioned without a lawyer present. Matt assures Nathan that he knows Grandma Petrelli is innocent. He tells Nathan that he read her mind, and oh! Nathan has shaved off all the Survivor Man facial hair! Thank God. Anyway, Matt says that he's not shutting down the investigation because of Molly. Because she's so scared about whatever it is she sees and because she keeps drawing the symbol that marked George Takei and Grandma Petrelli for death. (Random note: What happened to Nathan's career in politics? I mean, obviously it went away because of the whole exploding thing, but did that career die with Linderman?) Nathan agrees to help Matt, but only if he can have five minutes alone with his mother. Matt agrees, and Nathan grills her, wanting to know why she would confess to a crime that she didn't commit. She calls him out on the day he told her she didn't deserve to live, and Nathan tries the old "BUT I WAS DRUNK!" argument. "Just because you shaved doesn't mean you're clean and sober." Ha. She wants him to join A.A. before he does anything for her. And she doesn't want to lose her only remaining son, so she just tells him to focus on family and getting clean and sober. The police arrest Grandma Petrelli, and wheel her out of the hospital.

I just accidentally fast forwarded through like, all of the Wonder Twins part. Oh well. We'll start from here because I'm pretty damn sure we didn't miss anything. Maya is showing Sylar the book by Papa Surish, and Sylar says that the two of them are friends, so he can take the twins right to Surish. He leaves out the fact that the old man is dead. Maya asks Sylar's name, and he responds with his real name; Gabriel. Maya gets all hopeful looking and says dreamily: "Like the Angel." Yeah. Like the ANGEL OF DEATH.

In New Orleans, Monica who is the girl cousin, is singing 'I Will Survive', and she's decently good, so I think that at some point this season she'll be going on American Idol or something. Anyway, she's cutting tomatoes and suddenly, the one she's cutting is in the form of a rose. She has no idea how she learned how to do it. Monica wants to make a management position because she needs to support her Grandma Uhura and get them the hell out of New Orleans. More Hurricane Katrina references are made before we cut to the manager wanting to talk to Monica. He says that she's just not management material because she isn't available to work anywhere in the state. She cries that she's the breadwinner of her house and that she needs more money, but the manager is a dick and tells her to be glad she even has a job in the city, because there are a lot of people who don't.

At the Bennet's house, Claire is spinning lies again so that she can go see West. She tells her family that she has to do research at the library ON libraries and how they are becoming obsolete for our generation because of the internet. Hot damn. Where was this girl when I was trying to come up with lies to sneak out of my house? She's good. Anyway, her dad glowers at her, trying to decide if he can trust her. He believes it, and asks her if she needs a ride, but she says she'll hoof it. Which really means she's going to meet West and he'll fly her somewhere. HRG follows after her, only he misses West taking off into the sky with Claire in his arms. Oh well. Let the lies continue!

At what I can only assume is Nathan's new apartment, or maybe his mother's, I don't know, he's looking for a group photo. He reveals that his parents were friends of George Takei, but that his father wasn't too fond of the man. Apparently, one night, Nathan witnessed his mother and George Takei hugging for just a liiiiittle too long. Matt decides to get personal, only Nathan shuts off when Matt starts asking about his kids. This makes Matt open up in an attempt to get Nathan to like him or something. "My wife cheated on me. Which I could have forgiven, only, she was pregnant with his baby." Ouch. Finally, Nathan finds the picture this whole scene was shot for. The picture shows (from left to right): Linderman, Mr. Petrelli, Grandma Petrelli, George Takei, King Midas, Charles Devoux, and Matt's dad. There are more people, but they aren't relevant right now. (No, Uhura is not in the picture.) Nathan astutely proclaims that 'It's like someone's picking them off, one by one'. Ya think? Four out of the five people we know of in that picture are dead.

We get flashbacks to footage from Hurricane Katrina via Monica. She's pissed off because she's basically been told that she'll be flipping burgers for the rest of her life. Her BFF tells her that she lost more than most in the storm (really? She seems to have more than most to me.) Monica says that she feels like she's different and the real her is waiting to come out. Just you wait.

West and Claire are sitting on top of the Hollywood sign and Claire goes into the story of how she used to jump off of that tower back in Texas to see how she could heal. I am sensing another really cheesy moment coming up. God. I'll try and get through it for you guys. West asks why her family ran away from Texas, and Claire says that she can't talk about it. West is creepily saying that they're alone, so she must want to trust him. He tells her to jump off the Hollywood sign. Really? Claire's only response to this is that when she splats it's 'not cute'. West says that he can't help her if she doesn't trust him. Help her with what, getting her bra off? Whatever. Claire goes to jump off the sign, and that weird ominous music plays while we stare at West for a second. He swoops down and catches Claire before she splats, and he says 'I know you can heal, Claire. But I never want to see you hurt'. Is this more creepy than sweet to anyone but me? They kiss while he's hovering in the air and it's sappy/gag worthy/creepy all at the same time.

Micah is trying to get the free pay per few by pretending like he's working on the cable wires while secretly using his powers. Of course, Micah unscrambles the channel, and boy cousin automatically thinks that Micah is A+. Monica comes home and can't stay mad at Micah for getting the pay per view when both she and Uhura said no. Monica sits down and is obviously bummed about her day. Her and Micah hug, and it seems like Micah is really bonding with her. He puts his hand on her back like he's trying to fix her, only he can't. It's a little sad. "I wish I could fix your dreams for you." Aww. Monica looks at the t.v. and watches the wrestlers for a minute. One of them swings around a rope and kicks another person, and we see the image replayed in Monica's eyeball.

Back at the house of M&M, Matt wants Molly to help find his father. Apparently, Matt's dad bailed when Matt was 13 and he never saw him again. His dad stole a lot of money from a lot of people, but now Matt needs to talk to him because he might be in danger, like, getting killed off danger. Matt shows Molly the group picture and points out his dad. (Go back to season one and start again if you didn't predict this next part.) Molly freaks out, her eyes reflect the Kensei/double helix/'S' symbol thing, and she starts screaming to get the picture away from her, and when prodded, she proclaims that Matt's dad is the Boogeyman. Who's name has now changed to Nightmare Man.

Nathan is looking through some old pictures of him and Peter, and then looks up in a mirror. He sees his nasty ugly burnt up, Two Face self in the mirror and gets so mad that he punches it out. End random scene.

West takes Claire home and she freaks about the time because her dad is going to kill her. West tells her to lie to her dad about something else that he was forbidding so that she can get out of the house consistently. Because you can only go to the library so many times a week. West is a bad influence if you ask me.

The Wonder Twins aren't dead yet, and the American sees a newspaper of them with the headline 'HOMICIDO'. The American freaks and tells Sylar who suggests that the police be called. Instead of distracting the twins while dumb American calls the police, Sylar kills him, jacks the car, and tells the twins that he knows the truth about them. Maya goes all black ooze crazy, and Alejandro has to get her to calm down, thus revealing their power. God, this story line is so stupid. I hate it. I hope that Sylar kills them soon, but it sounds more like he sympathizes with the killing people and not meaning to do it. Whatever.

Claire goes inside and tells her dad that there's no boy. Instead, she says that she forged his name on some cheerleading permission slips and now she's on the cheer team. She went out to celebrate her spot on the team. She makes this big speech about how much she needs something normal in her life, and HRG tells her that she can cheerlead as long as she doesn't date. The hell? Why does it matter if she cheers? I mean, I understand that she could break something, but for God's sake. It's cheerleading, not shop class where she could really fuck something up. Anyway, what is she going to do when football season starts and she doesn't have a uniform? And she's not cheering at the games when her parents go to see her? Way to think that one through. HRG goes outside and our old friend the Haitian is there. He says that they have to go to Odessa, Ukraine to get the rest of the paintings. More lies to come.

Molly is in bed, and Matt tells Mohinder that Molly has to find his father, because a lot of people are dying, and...whatever, sorry, I spaced out thinking about Claire's family and their web of lies. Anyway, Molly wakes up and says that she'll help Matt find his father.

Monica is at the burger place and she goes to lock the front door when a guy busts in to rob the place, wanting everything out of the register. Suddenly, while the guy is grabbing the cash, Monica jumps up, swings around, and kicks him in the chest, just like she saw on t.v. earlier. So let's recount. She sliced a tomato into a rose just like she saw on t.v. She kicked a guy through a plate glass window, just like she saw on t.v. Getting it yet?

Now, back to M&M's house, Molly is trying to find Matt's dad. She pinpoints him to Philly, then to an apartment building. She doesn't want to keep going, but she tracks him to the third floor. The Nightmare Man knows that she's coming, but she manages to get that he's in apartment number nine. She starts screaming for the Nightmare Man to leave her alone and she goes spastic before passing out. She's in shock, in a coma, or some shit, and she won't wake up. Matt reads her thoughts, and she's screaming: "Matt! Help me! Matt!"

Next week: Kristen Bell makes her return to t.v. Awesome.

So, your thoughts on this ep?