Saturday, August 29, 2009

This is a Project Runway Post!

Alright guys, I fell behind last week, and I really hate that I missed talking to you about Ari and how weird she made me feel, and Johnny's epic breakdown that made me think whatever they're paying Tim Gunn it isn't enough, but the past is the past. I've tried to think about how I should go about writing this, because everyone sounds the same at this point with all their blogs and "OH THAT WAS GREAT, I'D WEAR IT" comments. I'm even gonna be really honest and say I don't even remember which designer is which, so I'm gonna post the outfits and tell you all what I think. Sound fair, easy, and simple? Okay, let's go. Oh wait, I forgot to say that those baby bumps were the most ridiculous looking lumps of potato sacks ever. Alright, moving on.

First up: Althea

I'll admit that I liked this dress, minus the boob support. Pregnant women need a lot of support there (I'm assuming), so hoist up the girls a little bit, and I would have REALLY loved this dress. (I'm so distracted by the boobs, I'm trying to move on, really.)

Next we have Carol Hannah:

I do not love this. I think the jacket looks like half of a pinata. Really, my only gripe IS the jacket. I like the underswoop of fabric (that is the technical term) around the belly, but the jacket really takes away from the over all design for me.


The winner from last week made an outfit that says 'Hey, I may be ready to pop out a kid, but I can still go to the club and have fun, too'. I really like this outfit paired with the leggings. Dare I say it's chic?


Okay, so I don't HATE this, because I can tell where he's going, but I imagine that the last thing a pregnant lady wants is to look even BIGGER than she already is, and that top definitely isn't helping. It's not form fitting at all; it looks like a pillow is stuffed under her shirt making her all billowy.


This outfit also says 'I'm ready to party' but unlike Christopher's, it also says 'But please have me home by 9 p.m. so I can have my warm milk.' That cardigan looking sweater needs to go, because it seems really out of place.


I could get behind this dress if the flare across the chest was gone. Otherwise, I think it's a cute little dress, even if from this angle I feel like I'm about to see first hand where babies come from. I'm pretty sure that's just the timing of the walk with the picture being taken.


Boooooring. Although I will ask: Why the hell is she caring a diaper bag already? She's obviously still pregnant with her sack of potatoes.


You know...I like this. It may not be much, and it's definitely safe, but it looks ultra comfy and classy at the same time. The gold collar gives it that touch of something different, but definitely doesn't push it over board. I have to honestly say that I'd wear it if I were pregnant. Who am I kidding? I'd wear it now if I could.


I'm okay with being the only person on the internet who does not like this concept. I was with Nina when she was trying to point out that it looks absolutely ridiculous for a night out. I wouldn't even wear that to bed. The poof on the shoulder is too much, though I can appreciate the pleating that keeps the dress (?) from getting too tight the bigger the pregnancy belly gets.


Oh, Malvin. So literal! I don't even know where someone would wear this outfit. To Lamaze class?, that doesn't work. See, what this looks like is someone trying to pretend to be pregnant in order to pull off some kind of heist, but really she's not convincing ANYONE, because NOBODY wraps the baby bump in swaddling clothes to make it stand out more unless they really want all the witnesses to know that YES OFFICER, she was pregnant. Auf wiedersehen.


I agreed with Rebecca Romijn on this one. This is the way I wold imagine Mary-Kate Olsen dressing when she's pregnant. That doesn't necessarily mean that it's right, but I'm just saying; there's a market for it. If the shorts were more tailored I think he would have had the support of all the judges. Also, I'm gonna put this out there too: If he doesn't stop blaming everyone but himself for his mistakes, he's going to get auf'ed pretty quickly. Being in the bottom two twice in row is never a good sign. GET IT TOGETHER, MAN.


Every woman needs a little black dress in her closet, and that doesn't stop just because you're pregnant. While there's nothing eye-catching about the dress I like the embellishment around the neck and I like the shoulders. Safe but cute.


If Malvin's design hadn't been so horrible, I would have sent Qristyl home for this. It's not pretty, it's very boring and it looks like a sheet draped around the model. Qristyl needs to step up her game, because so far, she's only getting through because there have been some real atrocities ahead of her.


I get it Ra'mon. I see exactly where you were trying to go, but then you got so lost that you didn't even see the train when it was coming straight at you. Not only did a fellow designer say it looked like a bowling ball bag, but so did a judge. One parallel strip going up the sides, that's all you needed to keep it looking a little sporty, but then you went all the way and had the stripes curve in around the baby belly and that was the death blow. It's okay though, you just really have no idea about where babies come from or how women want to look when they feel like whales. I'm glad you're safe, now never make that mistake again.


The winner! I need to have that coat in my life right now, honestly. It was so cute, and I love the lining. The dress itself has wonderful pleating around the belly so that it doesn't feel too tight, and the color is magnificent. Not bright as if to say 'HEY LOOK I HAVE A BABY ON BOARD', and not too dark as if to say 'Ugh, I feel so unsexy like a blimp'. It's very classy, so I'm going to hope that all of you ladies are hugely pregnant in the wintertime so you can have this coat and love it and wear it everywhere.

Just one other thing I want to say, and I've noticed other people say it as well. This challenge could have used some REAL pregnant ladies. Those bumps were just ridiculous. But I'm guessing with the show Models of the Runway, there won't be any special challenges with guest models. Ah well, no sweat off my back, but those bumps weren't fooling anyone.

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