a lot of t.v. commentary

Breaking news: Samantha Who? has been canceled by ABC. The Sarah Conner Chronicles has been canceled by FOX. The Unusuals has been canceled by ABC.

I wasn't going to post all of my thoughts all at once because I was afraid this post would get long. Then I decided I'd just try to get this all short. All of my shows have ended for the summer, and I have some stray thoughts about LOST, so let's get moving.

As I stated in my previous entry, upfronts have started for all of the networks. Congratulations to the fans of Dollhouse and Chuck for seeing their shows renewed for at least one more season. Here's hoping that FOX moves Dollhouse out of its lackluster Friday night spot and gives it a healthy place to grow.

Scrubs was also renewed. How do I put this in a way that still reflects how much I have loved this show. Um...okay I have it. LET IT GO. I understand that people absolutely love this show but let's face it; it isn't what it used to be. And if it's coming back, then what purpose did that finale serve? I just want to remember Sacred Heart in its glory days, but it seems like it will be beaten with sticks before it finally goes away probably hardly recognizable anymore.

After watching The Office finale, I've decided that it probably won't make it after this next season. Babies? Babies ruin shows and are often shark jumping moments. Believe me; jumping the shark is not a term I use lightly, but depending on how this is all played out, the majority of the audience is going to jump ship. It pains me to say that seeing as how I've loved The Office since the beginning, but with the Jim and Pam story line unfolding like the American Dream all of a sudden, what's the point of continuing?

Desperate Housewives finally ended it's Dave story line and...that's what we waited for all season long? It was kind of...boring, and the whole story line was far-fetched to begin with. Have everyone from Dave to Susan to the newspapers omitted the fact that the stop sign was laying on the ground and that the accident was just that - an accident? I understand grief and all, but aside from Susan not actually having her driver's license on her, where was a real crime committed? I guess this is what I get for trying to think about it logically.

I think that as we go through the LOST hiatus it'll be fun to have a theory a week or so until the show comes back. Because Lord knows there are enough things to speculate. And if I try to write something long it will come out like this: OMG JULIET IS DEAD BECAUSE DARLTON SAID ONCE SOMEONE DIES ON THIS SHOW THEY'RE REALLY DEAD!!!!

I'm not even 100% sure where to start, but I'm just going to dive in.

What is Jacob, exactly?
We know that he's old; as old as the island? He also has a connection to most of our Losties. He visited a young Kate and Sawyer, Jack as he took out his frustrations on his father, Locke after plummeting out of the 8th floor window of a building, and Hurley after getting out of jail. But probably most important is that he physically touched every single one of them. Why? What is the significane of those moments?

Comments below, everyone!

The below photo has nothing to do with the post.

I've been sitting here for probably two days now, just trying to think of a topic to write about. You see, interweb, I've been trying to get noticed and I put a stat counter on the page. After I post and advertise it all over the internet (read: Livejournal.com), I then log into the stat counter and watch the numbers. I just about pee myself when we get into the hundreds. I know that I don't get record breaking numbers; I don't even get 200 hits a day, but for some who usually spouts random musings about television, I'm impressed with myself.

(I've just re-read that last sentence; narcissism is alive and well. Also, spell check wants me to capitalize the 'i' in internet, but I refuse.) I don't know who reads this on a daily basis, and I realize the above paragraph was extremely boring, but the point is if you do for some reason read this, and you enjoy television, bookmark me. And if you think you have friends who might find anything I say interesting, don't be shy about linking back to me.

I don't want to leave you all without something T.V. related, but this week I feel like a T.V. Zombie. Monday and Tuesday feel like hyper-drive because I'm re-watching Heroes and Fringe 18 times in one hour so that I can post my recaps at TheTwoCents.com. By the time Wednesday rolls around I feel like I just ran a marathon and can finally sit down. I'm too exhausted to watch anything on Wednesdays (I'm sorry, Pushing Daisies, but I'm not even in the Nielsen Group, so there.) and I'm already thinking about how amazing Thursday night is going to be. This segues me into T.V. schedules. Thinking about how much I watch makes my mind want to explode, but typing it out, it doesn't really seem like that much.

Monday

Chuck

Heroes

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Tuesday

House

Fringe

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Wednesday

Project Runway*

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Thursday

My Name is Earl

Kath & Kim

The Office

30 Rock

LOST*

Grey's Anatomy (if Mary McDonnell is on and/or Denny finally goes away.)

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Friday

Monk*

Psych*

Battlestar Galactica*

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Saturday

Nothing; oh glorious nothing except for football.

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Sunday

Extreme Home Makeover (shut up.)

Desperate Housewives

Brothers & Sisters

Mad Men*

(*I realize that these shows are not on right now, but this is what a full schedule has the potential to be.)

That's at least two shows a night, two that I recap, and that's not even counting shows like Caprica and Dollhouse that don't even have an estimated premiere date yet. (And maybe that's more than I thought.) With all of this I watch, there are still shows that everyone talks about that I don't watch but feel terribly out of the loop no matter how dumb I think they may be. Actually, they may not even be dumb shows, just shows I've never watched for one reason or another. Including but not limited to Samantha Who?, Ghost Whisperer, Dirty Sexy Money, Eli Stone, 24, any and all cable shows, plus that Dr. Drew rehab show. (Which I would actually totally watch for Gary Busey alone.)

I'm a little sad that I keep saying I'll watch Samantha Who? and then never do it because by all accounts, it's an amazing show and I think Christina Applegate is the most adorable person on the planet. Plus, I love Jean Smart a lot. The will is there, but without looking I don't even know if the show is an hour or thirty minutes, and I have no idea when it airs. One of these days, probably after it's ended, I'll get the DVDs from Netflix, but until then, I'll just continue to wish I watched the show.

I've watched Ghost Whisperer approximately once, and the whole time I was watching, I was hypnotized by Jennifer Love Hewitt's breasts. Honestly, if you're going to put boobs in my face that's not a bad way to do it, but the boob problem is the same in every show: It's just not necessary. And yes, I am talking to you Marg Helgenberger on CSI. But other than the boobs I was really, really bored and so I never watched another episode. I almost wished that I did now because of all the REALLY! ANGRY! PEOPLE! all over the internet. I've never watched one episode of Dirty Sexy Money because the title makes me feel the way I do when I realize I've just stuck a dollar bill in my mouth while I organize my change. 24 never appealed to me because I'm not a huge fan of cars exploding and people dying in every single episode (unless it's death by robots, apparently) or Keifer Sutherland in general. But that's my cross to bear.

I'm interested to know what you watch and why you do or do not watch it. Why do some people only watch shows like Keeping up with the Kardashian's and The Girls Next Door? I have a theory that mind-numbing reality shows are going to be the demise of my generation's last remaining brain cells. Prove me wrong.