It was all a dream

WARNING: There will be spoilers in this post for the season finale that aired on 5-11-2009. This is your only warning!

Alright, I'm going to start by saying I don't hate the way the episode was written or executed. By House standards, that was pretty amazing in and of itself.

I also want to say that this is probably one of the only shows I watch where I just don't care about the pairings other than Amber and Wilson. THAT I loved. I think that my aversion to the pairings on this show is due to how absolutely rabid the fandom is when it comes to Huddy, Wilson/House, Hameron and whatever else you have that I just never got into it. I don't really care one way or another if House is with Cuddy or if in the last episode ever Wilson and House reveal they've been boning the entire time. It doesn't make me enjoy the show any more or any less.

Here's what I really am not liking: We have DONE the hallucinations. Not once to end and/or start a season. Not twice. But now THREE TIMES. I love Amber and Kutner and I'm glad that gives them an excuse to be back but could we PLEASE have something that hasn't been done before? Maybe that's the problem with this show: everything starts to feel like it's been done. I liked the direction of House and Cuddy and while I feel 'eh' about them being together one way or another, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was no way the writers were going to give the fans of that pairing such an easy fix. However I do find it rude that David Shore would proclaim that it would finally happen only to take it all back. On the flip side of that, now everyone knows how House really feels about Cuddy and what kind of man he wants to be for her (?) so there is that.

Maybe the hallucination thing would have felt better to me if it hadn't been the season closer. Because for some reason this just didn't feel like a finale to me. By the end of the episode I wasn't on the edge of my seat and at the end I wasn't wailing 'OH GOD I HAVE TO WAIT HOW LONG FOR A NEW EPISODE???' which is disappointing to me.

I feel very, very alone in this conclusion. Everyone I know in real life, everyone on the internet - everyone seemed to love it except for me. It's true that you can't please everyone but I don't understand why I was so adverse to this episode. I wish that I weren't, but maybe this is a sign that my instincts to leave the show alone for good were right back at the beginning of the season. Did I listen? No. I watched, and I'll probably do it again in the fall.

I'm pretty sure that by the time this show is said and done, we'll be finding out that some kid in Africa hallucinated the whole damn thing.

NBC vs. the public

Upfronts are happening right now at all of the major networks, and while (as of this posting) NBC has already released most of their schedule, ABC , FOX, CBS and the CW don’t happen until later this month. So, I’ll wait to discuss the fall pickups (and drops) until much later. For now, I’d like to discuss Jay Leno. Look, I know that there are very opinionated people either way. I’ll save my opinion for the end of the article. Let’s just talk about why it’s happening and why it seems the majority of television watchers are up in arms.

Jay Leno took over The Tonight Show in 1992 after Johnny Carson’s retirement and a huge uproar between NBC, Leno, and David Letterman. He’s gone on to be the highest rated after-news talk show for his entire run by a 19 percent margin in adult viewers. In 2004, NBC made an announcement that Leno would be retiring in 2009, and would be succeeded by Conan O’Brien. All of this was announced early in order to avoid a repeat performance from 1992. Everyone believed that would be the end of it and Leno would go the way of Carson: remembered fondly for his tenure as host. However, in December of 2008, NBC released a statement explaining that Leno would move into primetime with an hour long show at 10 p.m./9 central. The internet exploded about that time with concerns over shows that have always been on the fence and what this would mean for Conan O’Brien.

For starters, this really puts the pressure on shows like Medium that have been ‘bubble’ shows; meaning when NBC has nothing else to air, they toss Medium into the fray. And shows like Law & Order and Chuck that have wobbling ratings are left up in the air. From a network standpoint, it is much more cost effective to make an hour long Leno show than it is to order a full season of any one of the bubble shows. (For example, it costs around $15 million a week for shows like Law & Order, whereas Leno’s show would be around $2 million a week). I don’t believe that up against shows like CSI or Grey’s Anatomy NBC could win the ratings time slot, but on Wednesday and Friday which are traditionally the slower days of the week, he could easily bring in large numbers. But what’s happening is that a full hour of primetime is being eaten up by this show that is (for all intents and purposes) a clone of The Tonight Show with more Jay Walking and Headlines.

One debate on the internet is that this effectively takes away from Conan O’Brien. Think about it: If you were an A-list celebrity and you had the option of promoting your film in primetime or taking a chance and waiting until after the local news, which would you rather do? Personally, I’m going for that early spot when people are still awake and families are gathered around the television. So Conan will get the leftovers and the B-listers just as he always has. (Of course that’s not always the case, but it is the trend. You won’t see Sue Johanson on The Tonight Show.) And that leaves Jimmy Fallon with relative nobodies. And after three talk shows, do we really need to stay up for a fourth with Carson Daly? It’s exhausting just typing it all out. Honestly, Jimmy Fallon would have to be better at what he does for me to be concerned anyway, and Carson, well, whatever. Sorry Carson. But it feels like Conan deserves a lot better from NBC.

No, I don’t blame Leno for this debacle. I think that NBC didn’t want him to go to another network (FOX most likely) and compete against their show. How many of us would say yes, I definitely want to retire, and then five years later have a different idea of how to spend the rest of your life? Things change in five years, and I’m not saying that Leno was innocent in all of this, but when NBC approached him with this idea (because I don’t think he pulled it out of thin air), he jumped at the opportunity to stay at NBC both because of his reputation and fan base there, and the millions of dollars I’m sure he’s receiving. Do I think he maliciously thought ‘This definitely screws over Conan’? No. I don’t even think he would have done it if NBC hadn’t offered. In fact, by what I can tell, he would have been ready to go to a different network and that scared the crap out of NBC.

My deal is that I’m afraid of what this means for shows like Medium, Law & Order and Chuck. I know that personally I don’t care to see Jay Leno invade prime time, and I don’t think the ratings will be as successful as NBC is hoping. He averages around 4.8 million viewers and in prime time, shows with ratings like that get canceled quickly. I’ll call NBC a hypocrite if they cancel Chuck which hits a rating average of about 7.28 million. I feel like this is a hit to Conan, as if NBC is saying ‘you know, we don’t really trust you at the helm of this show, so we’re going to keep the current face of The Tonight Show and if you’re successful, then it’s even better for us’.

So what do you think about all of this? How do you feel regarding Leno’s move? Do you blame him, or do you blame the greedy network? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Brittany is an aspiring television critic currently living in Oklahoma. Catch her weekly reviews of Heroes, Mad Men, and more at TheTwoCents.com

LOST questions

(Okay, so it's an older image. It just happened to feature eye candy front and center, plus Miles and Daniel.)

Over at EW.com, Doc Jensen has his review up of 'Some Like it Hoth'. There is a good reason why I don't do and will probably never touch trying to recap this show: He does it beautifully. Somehow he manages to ask all the right questions and give me a spring board for coming up with my own theories. I've linked you above to one of his theories in particular, but for the lazy clickers out there, I'll give you the quote:

Hurley tried to bond with Miles over their respective abilities to speak with
the dead, but snooty Straume believed his power was more impressively nuanced.
''You're just jealous my power is cooler than yours,'' Hurley replied.
CONSPICUOUS DETAIL — BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Alright, so here's what I think. I think that the dead people Hurley sees (by my count that would be Charlie, Mr. Eko, Ana Lucia and Dave) are Smokey himself. For some reason the monster is shifting himself into those people, but for what? Why was he/it trying to help Hurley? Or was it? The reason I bring up Dave is because of the speculation I had way back in the day that Dave was Libby's dead husband. (You know, the one who had the boat which she gave to Desmond.)

If you can explain to me where I was going that, I'd be very grateful. All I know for sure is that the time Hurley was seeing Dave, Libby was in the nuthouse too, and then Libby and Dave were both on the island.

What are some of your more 'far out' ideas? Anyone have any speculation they want to share? Leave me comments, and I'll address your theories in my next post!

Well, balls in your court, NBC

It seems to me that NBC doesn't actually care about ever being a reputable network again. First, they get rid of an hour of weeknight programming by putting Jay Leno on at 10/9 central. Does anyone actually want to see this guy at nine p.m.? Does anyone want to keep seeing him at all? You didn't see Johnny Carson crying for more air time when his time came to pass the torch. This is not how you slip into retirement, Leno. And how is the show even going to be any different? He's screwing Conan by getting all the good guests on his show so that Conan gets the leftovers. It's lame and I'm honestly hoping that it crash and burns. (Actually, if its ratings suck but the show stays on the air, it will prove once and for all that all the network cares about is money.)

Then, NBC decides to cancel Kings which is a damn shame because it's a brilliant show. I get that enough people aren't watching it but come on! You're airing it on Friday and now you're moving it to fucking SATURDAY.

I'm sorry, I don't normally curse like this in my blog but I can't even understand that network anymore. I'm pretty sure trained monkeys are making the decisions up there - it certainly isn't Jack Donaghy, is it?

Am I the only one?

Am I the only one, or did other people appreciate the U.S. remake of Life on Mars?

Maybe I'm biased here. Maybe it's because I never saw the British version of the show so I'm not jaded, but I loved this show. Well, maybe loved is too strong. But I greately enjoyed it, especially after LOST when my brain was already leaking from all the time travel theories flying around. I felt emotionally connected to the characters too, especially during the second to last episode 'Everyone Knows It's Wendy'. Why don't more people watch shows like this? Why do people keep watching Two and a Half Men? Why didn't more people watch Battlestar Galactica? LIFE'S MYSTERYS GUYS.

Am I the only one, or does American Idol truly suck now?

Back when the show first started and Kelly Clarkson was the winner, I don't think I'd even heard of this show. I didn't care and I didn't start caring until the third season. So, then I tuned in once we got past the auditions and down to the top six or so. Many people told me that I was missing something precious called audition week, so last year was the first year I actually watched the entire season. And you know, I wasn't disappointed. I liked David Cook well enough and there was actual talent. This year...this year I stopped. I haven't watched since Adam Lambert killed Ring of Fire. I have this gut feeling that if Johnny Cash weren't dead, he would have contemplated suicide. And Danny Gokey? Are you kidding me with this? And the blind guy? America, are you trying to tell me that all I need is some terrible sob story and I can get anything I want? There is no one this show this season that actually deserves to be called an American Idol. Watching for Paula's whacked out behavior used to be enough but not anymore. Now I actually understand why she's whacked out all the time.

Am I the only one, or are you tired of the Sarah/Chuck UST/angst on Chuck?

I understand. I get it it. The whole show is based on this pairing but it is beyond the point of beating a dead horse. The dead horse has been flogged over and over again and is ready to be put into the dehydrater to be made into horse jerky. I would much rather see the characters be quirky and fun than watch Mr. Bartwoski pine for the woman he apparently can't have or Captain Awesome and Ellie work out their insecurities. I stopped watching the show about three weeks before the super bowl and last week thought I would tune in (only because Tricia Helfer was guest starring). Within ten to fifteen minutes I was reminded why I stopped watching. Between Ellie crying over Awesome because he does what most guys do at their bachelor party, and Sarah throwing eye daggers and Tricia Helfer's character (who was sent in because it's starting to become obvious ONLY NOW to everyone that Sarah has feelings for Chuck) I was done by the halfway mark. Sorry, Chuck. I know that at times it can be cute but I'm over the romance part of it.

The only thing I learned from BSG was how to be an alcoholic

I have been trying to write something that can properly express how important Battlestar Galactica has been to me and no matter what, it always comes out sounding a little bit pathetic. That doesn’t matter to me, not really, I just want to write something more coherent than ‘OH GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW WHY IS IT ENDING?!’ Trust me, it would be easy to do, and I have been on my Livejournal. Here though, I want to try and explain how I ended up loving this show and why it has made such an impact.

Even though I would love for people to think I’ve been watching this show since the mini-series aired back in 2003, I have to be honest: I had no clue about this show or what it was even in the 80s. That’s how much I dislike the sci-fi genre. I’ve never seen an entire Star Wars movie completely through, I only saw Star Trek once when Whoopi Goldberg was a part of the cast and…honestly, I think the closest I ever came to sci-fi was the Power Rangers when Rita lived in space. When someone handed me a copy of the mini-series DVD in the summer of 2006, I waited until about the end of September to actually watch it. Actually making the time to want to sit still through some stupid outer space show was so not my cup of tea. I started watching, IMing snide remarks to a friend about how slow it was already, and then Six walked on screen, snapped an infant’s neck, and my away message went up, saying something to the effect of: ‘holy shit what am I watching?’

Lucky for me, season three had just started when I finished the mini-series. So when ‘Exodus Part 2’ aired, I watched and of course had no idea what was going on. I just remember incredibly vividly how intense it was to watch Galactica jump into New Caprica’s atmosphere and watch those Vipers launch. Talk about edge of your seat, folks. After an intense watching of seasons one and two and the downloading of the first two season three episodes I missed, by the time the next new episode happened? I was all caught up. Honestly I’m not sure how I did it, and I don’t remember doing it. My commitment to the show was that intense after seeing what I had. It then became my mission to convince everyone I knew that this show was for everyone, not just the people who love sci-fi. I was a smoker back then, and while watching the episode ‘33’ I think I went through an entire pack. Then I did the same thing when I got to ‘Epiphanies’. By the time ‘Taking A Break From All Your Worries’ came around I was a full fledged alcoholic.

Somehow, I managed to convince my dad to watch this show. And by ‘convince’, I mean he couldn’t walk due to a recent surgery and therefore could not prevent me from loading the DVD and forcing him to watch it. He yelled just as loud as I had that he would hate it, and then he was hooked as well. I think for him it was the smut within twenty minutes of the show starting but you know; to each their own. It became a tradition for the two of us at that point to watch the show together, and to date has been one of the only things we can debate about and not get all huffy over. Except when he told me that Adama just wanted to get laid on New Caprica and that he didn’t really care about Laura at all. We did argue over that; oh yes. My brother has been a more casual viewer in that when he watches, it’s once a season or if I’m having a marathon. He loves what he sees but has the attention span of Gaius Baltar, so it’s pretty pointless to corral him into the living room on Friday nights. I’ve recapped this show for a while now in one forum or another and that, combined with watching with my dad has been a tradition for so long that I’m not sure what I’m going to do come Friday the 27th. I’m almost positive I’ll be curled up in a ball on the floor suffering from withdrawals.

This show, for me, hasn’t simply been about who is paired together, or not being able to wait and see what struggle the fleet is going to be hit with next. That stuff is interesting yes, but I am so invested in the human story and emotion; the cylon’s story of life and creation; death and destruction. I need to know how Adama is going to eventually break down. It’s been scary to see him deteriorate from stoic leader to a man slowly losing everything and at the end of his rope. It has absolutely made my heart ache to see Caprica Six finally grow and learn what it truly means to have human emotion only to lose her child and the man she loves. (Because it certainly doesn’t seem like Tigh stuck around after the death of Liam.) It’s those personal story lines that I have to see resolved before the end of the show. Most importantly (for me) will be knowing where they all end up. There are only two possible scenarios in my mind: They all jump back to Kobol or New Caprica (but let’s go with Kobol since it didn’t look like a craphole) because those are the two planets that haven’t been nuked, or they all die. That’s all I can come up with in my head and it’s making my stomach twist up in knots just thinking about it. I’m trying to come to terms with Laura’s death; even though we may not see it. Even though it may not even happen at this point. Let’s face it, if they don’t show her death I’m going to pretend a magical unicorn cured her. And if she dies? Well, I’ll give out the directions to the shiva later.

I can’t explain anymore how important this show is to me by being serious, so let me give some examples. If I had the choice between watching a new episode of this show for one hour and going on an all expenses paid trip to Disney World? I’d watch the new hour. (Let’s pretend that I have no DVR for these scenarios.) If my friends wanted to go out and celebrate a sudden surge in the economy and a new episode of BSG was on? Sorry friends, I’ve got more important things to do. I suppose one good thing about the show ending will be the resurgence of my social life on Friday nights. In trying to come up with a way to cope, I’ve even formed crossover ideas. Here’s my favorite pitch: Galactica is using one of the few jumps it has left before it falls apart. The island on LOST is also jumping through time and it just so happens that Galactica jumps at a time the island is having one of its flashy moments. The crew crash lands and the island cures Laura’s cancer. It turns out the Oceanic Six are the important ones because they are the descendants of the Final Five Cylons. Laura and Bill become King and Queen of the island, they adopt Ben and Daniel, Jack cries a million tears after becoming part of the Lee/Kara/Anders affair, and Kate gets tossed out of an airlock. I like my idea.

It has been a blast and an honor talking about this show so often and recapping it over at The Two Cents.com. I’ve honestly not had a better time with any show, even my first real love, The X-Files. Battlestar Galactica trumps all in the end, and I suspect it always will. Until twenty five years go by and Bodie Olmos plays Adama, the kid who played Boxy plays Lee, and Amy Adams plays Laura Roslin.

So say we all.

Internet - make my life decisions for me, please.

So, I have a question for all of you. I'm letting my T.V. Guide subscription lapse. I think the writing is blase and very childish; besides that anything I need to know I can get on the internet without paying a subscription fee. I honestly don't even know why I thought I needed a subscription anyway, but I do have to say that I'm glad it didn't lapse before I got the Battlestar Galactica collector's edition. I'm also letting my O magazine subscription lapse. Mostly because I've found that for a magazine geared towards Oprah's watchers who are not insanely rich, there's a whole lot of shit in there I can't afford. Also, I'm not a hip young soccer mom and I have not reached the age where I find my aha! moment. So, whatever Oprah. Your magazine does not cater to me.

Anyway, all of this to say I'd like to subscribe to something else. I have a subscription to EW that I will not let go of until the day I die and even then, I'll probably be paid so far in advance that issues are delivered to the nursing home where I died. My question is, what should I subscribe to in place of O and T.V. Guide? I could go with People, and I do enjoy that magazine but if there's something even better, well then, I'd love to know it. And I don't want a subscription to Star or US Weekly or any of that stuff - I have Oh No They Didn't for that. So what should it be? I'm even willing to look at online magazines if they have good material.

Enlighten me, internet. I'm counting on you!

(Also, keep in mind that I am a t.v. fan so it's a huge plus if the magazine is somehow television related.)